It has been 8 weeks and 3 days since our daughter flew into our loving Saviour's arms. It was also 8 weeks and 3 days that He allowed us to love her on earth.
I told Scott the day that Annabelle was "promoted" that I was scared for this day to come...the day where I knew that I would have spent more time without her since her birth than with her in our arms. It turned out, as with most things, that the anticipation was the worst of it.
As we do every Sunday, Scott, Wyatt and I went to Annabelle's "special place" this morning to spend time remembering her and thanking God for the time He gave us with her. Wyatt loves going and picks wildflowers for her. We always kiss her stone before we leave and Wyatt loves trying to give her the most kisses. Today, they were setting up for another's service and had the John Deere tractor out moving some dirt. He thought that was great and made our visit even more enjoyable. Oh, to be a 4 year old little boy! The adventure never ends...
I also used today to begin Annabelle's scrapbook. I went to print the pictures this afternoon and 247 pictures later, I have all of Annabelle's precious moments captured. Scott and I have been brainstorming all of our favorite memories with our daughter to include in her book, too. We don't want a single moment to go unnoticed and look forward to keeping these God-given memories fresh on our minds and in our hearts for our lifetime until we see her again.
We fill so full and yet so very empty...overwhelmed in Godly love and support yet so barren without our baby girl in our home. It is a balance that is as hard to lose as it is bountiful to receive. My thoughts and everything that I used to be is changed...and I would not have it any other way. I am blessed to have held an angel and love and true child of God. I praise God for every week, day, hour, minute and second that He gave me with her. I praise Him for the time that I have without her that allows me to love deeper and draw me closer to Him. Most of all today, I praise Him for the 8 weeks and 3 days of missing her that bring me closer to holding her again...
10 comments:
Your strength never ceases to amaze me. I still think and pray for you, Scott and Wyatt everyday! Love you bunches!
I love you so much...thanks for being a wonderful sister and for giving me a wonderful nephew and niece. I will continue to pray for you everyday. Know that mama has Annabelle in her arms and that she is being taken care of. I know what you meant when you said you dreaded this day to come because I am going through the samething this year. It will be exactly half the time I spent with mama than I haven't. It is hard but I know that I will be with her again...I love you so much...keep holding your head high and staying so strong...I'm lucky to have you in my life...JC
You always have just the perfect words to express your thoughts and emotions as well as your strength and gratitude. I know it all comes from the Lord and I know it is He who gives you the amazing strength you have. The scrapbook you put together will be wonderful and such a treasure. Annabelle's legacy will always live on.....
Oh sweet Annabelle! I never knew your family but Annabelle has touched out lives. I followed your journey as our HLHS babies were born on the same day. Annabelle has taught me to love Owen even more than I ever thought possible and to cherish every moment I have with him.
I think a scrapbook is a fabulous idea! Make sure you adorn it with LOTS of butterflies!!!
Andrea
Owen's Mom
Your faith and strength are awe inspiring. You are amazing.
Love,
Kerri
So glad to hear that you, Scott and Wyatt had such a special day on Sunday. Think of you all SO often - keeping you in our prayers. I know Anabelle's scrapbook will be beautiful! What a treasure!!
Love,
Caroline
God has given you so much strength. He will get you through this storm. She was a blessing that will continue to touch peoples lives. May God bless you all as you continue to heal.
Leigh Ann Gandy
Praying for you and keeping your sweet Annabelle in our hearts forever!
Love,
Katie & Maddie
Oh Rebecca-
I thank God everyday that I found Little Annabelle's blog and that it led me to your family. I feel as if I have gone through your grief with you and although I cannot even fathom the heartache, I at least have a good inspiration in case we are in the same situation at some point with Lindsay. When I am having a bad day, like today, I can always picture you and it makes me feel better. You show your strength with words so beautifully and whether you know it or not, that is my therapy. I hope your scrapbook of Annabelle includes lots of hearts and special white butterflies.
In only two weeks from tomorrow, we will have our little Lindsay and my stomach turns in excitement and anziety all at the same time as you well know. Just know that you and your family have helped in so many ways for us to prepare. Thanks again for sharing with so many people your life with Annabelle. Her legacy will be great because of you.
Love and Heart Hugs,
Suzie
Rebecca, Scott, and Wyatt...I just cannot express the sorrow and yet also the joy that feel for you each and every day. I don't know how you all continue to be so strong.... and then again, I do. Your faith in God is what is carrying you through such a difficult time. It is such a blessing to know that you are the parents and big brother :) of a beautiful angel! I pray that your amazing faith carries you and comforts you each and every day....My family and I continue to pray for you all....thank you for sharing Annabelle with all of us... through her amazing journey and her continued presence by donating Annabelle baskets to help other families in their time of strife and uncertainty.
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